EXCUSES

by Josh Gilbert and Eric Schwartz

LIGHTS UP

(Doctor sits in his office.)

DOCTOR: Next!

(Roland enters. He is missing an arm. It is apparently irritating

him.)

ROLAND: Hi Doc.

DOCTOR: (Suddenly realizing umps out of his seat.) What the

hell!!!!!!!

ROLAND: Well...

DOCTOR: Nurse!! I need some rags and some hot water!!! We've

got to stop the bleeding!!!

ROLAND: Actually it's not bleeding much anymore.

DOCTOR: What happened?

ROLAND: Well.... I was sitting in Algebra and I wasn't too

crazy about the idea of going to gym class so...

DOCTOR: Yes...

ROLAND: I knew that the only way out was to get a pass from the

nurse so...

DOCTOR: WHAT?!?

ROLAND: Well, I gnawed my arm off.

DOCTOR: You what?!

ROLAND: I chewed my arm off so I wouldn't have to go to gym

class.

DOCTOR: (Frantic) Did you pack the limb in ice?! We still maybe

able to reattach the limb. We can't even promise 50%

mobility but more than likely you would regain some use

of it...

ROLAND: (Calmly, and a little meekly) I... uh.... I don't have

the arm.

DOCTOR: What happened?!?!?!?!

ROLAND: Well some bullies were playing keep away with it and

well…

DOCTOR: WHAT?!

ROLAND: They threw it on the roof?

DOCTOR: (Insane) Did you find it?!?!!

ROLAND: No..... But I got a nice 4 square ball.

BLACKOUT